We’ll just tell the kids I fell down the stairs.

While on a training ride yesterday, I went into a loose, rocky downhill turn too fast and the bike slid out from under me. My head and face hit the ground first, denting my helmet and smashing my glasses/face into a small rock. Ouch. For the glasses, I mean. They weren't cheap. And I guess for my face, too. On the bright side, I'm starting a new job tomorrow! At least I won't stick out or anything. As my father kindly tried to rationalize, it "just looks like [I] put my makeup on wrong." Great. People won't think I'm injured; they'll just think I'm stupid.

Ready To Take The Pro Fields By, well, Light Rain

I now have the race results needed to officially the upgrade to pro through USA Cycling. So totally weird. Three years ago I was racing in board shorts and a cotton tank top on a bike that could have doubled as an anchor for an oceanliner. Now I live on nothing but gelatinous energy products and coffee and my bike is made out of starlight and dental floss - unwaxed, of course, because that wax really adds on the weight. I also track every morsel of food that crosses my lips using an app on my iPhone that makes me feel neurotic and yet so dedicated to my sport, and I attend private Pilates lessons with a man who wears ballet slippers and enjoys pain. Well, my pain at least. It has been quite a journey to get to this point, moving from category to category in my quest to ...continue reading.

Victory can be yours, for only $59.95/month!

When I first started biking, I was determined to keep it light and fun, nothing too competitive or serious. A few months later, I decided that I was actually going to go to the Olympics. Always keeping it real, that's me. After a few months of training myself and struggling to pull together a decent workout plan based on a number of different training approaches/philosophies, I was directed to Alison Dunlap to get personal coaching from a true expert who had done everything I was hoping to do. I've been working with her since the beginning of 2008 and she has given me some real gems of insight, including: "When you do it right, it's easy. When you do it wrong, it's not." "Try not to eat so much cheese." "The rides that make you win races are the ones where the weather sucks, you feel terrible, and you hate ...continue reading.

Ten disgusting things you (but never I) may have done in the name of cycling:

1. Blew a snot rocket mid-ride. 2. Blew a snot rocket mid-ride and hit your jersey/shorts/shoe. 3. Spit while riding fast and had it land on your shoulder/splash across your cheek. 4. Pushed your helmet against your head to make all of the sweat pour out. 5. Eaten a fuzzy, sticky Clif Block found in your jersey pocket. 6. Drank the mud splashed across the mouth of a waterbottle. 7. Used a glove as a sweat mop or Kleenex. 8. Picked bugs/dirt out of your teeth after a ride. 9. Smelled something rank and realized it was your gloves or helmet. 10. Peed in the woods and sprinkled your shoes.

Updates that probably warrant their own posts.

1. I am getting married in several months. 2. Evidently, I have anxiety regarding racing that has phobia-like qualities. 3. Despite several recent bouts of nice weather, I cannot bring myself to stop using the trainer for all rides. 4. The mice are still alive. They run on their wheel for approximately 75% of each day. The wheel squeaks loudly 100% of the time that it is in use. I am down to 0.01% of my original desire to own mice. 5. I am leaving my current job this Friday and starting a new one on Monday. 6. For the first time in my life as a dog owner, I wished fiercely that I would come home to a pile of poop on the floor today. No luck. 7. These are my new favorite shoes: http://boutique.vanillabicycles.com/product/the-pit-boot

Dear Cycling: FU.

I am sick of cycling and the trainer and intervals and workouts and warm ups and cool downs and recovery rides. I am tired of  spandex and chamois pads and Bag Balm and sweat towels and Sidis and sports bras and cycling socks and lightweight, uncomfortable saddles. I will be ill if I have another bottle of Heed or glass of Recoverite or bag of Clif Energy Gelatinous Blobs of Miserable Hell. I don't want to push through another endurance ride or drive to the gym or do another leg exercise or stretch or lube my chain or put on my heart rate monitor or get past my VO2 max. Winter fucking blows. I'm sorry, but it does. Winter training is fun for maybe a month and then it starts to drag and then it starts to REALLY FUCKING SUCK. Its my blog and I can swear if I want to. ...continue reading.