Once More Across The Continental Divide

In other news, I have relocated from Virginia to Tucson, AZ. It was so enjoyable to drive across America last year that I decided to do it again, only faster and this time with a dog. On December 28, I packed up the Chevy, put some bikes on the roof, stuffed Tanner in the back, and got on the highway. This trip, unlike the last fun, adventurous one, was all about efficiency. I had to be in Tucson by 1:30pm on December 31 to sign my lease before the office closed for the holiday, so I skipped luxuries like sightseeing, regular meals, and peeing in favor of driving as much as possible. The highlights were few and far between: Tanner threw up only once. However, he waited until the moment we pulled up to a New Mexico border checkpoint to do so. Turns out he'd eaten a rock that didn't agree ...continue reading.

An Update With No Actual News

Hello there! I haven't written anything of substance here in a long time because I have been busy not giving a crap about maintaining a blog. Funny, that. I typically wait until there is something meaningful to say before breaking long periods of silence here but at this juncture, I don't have anything I'm ready to share just yet. There IS news, it's just not fit for public consumption at the moment. There was this one thing I was going to write a full post about, but never made it past the first paragraph so this will have to suffice: Andrew accidentally lost the dog in the middle of the night last week and I got to spend an hour running through the woods in the darkness wearing pajamas and fuzzy slippers screaming "TANNNNNNNER!" (Weird how that hysteria didn't entice him to come closer.) The slippers came to a soggy death right around the time they sloshed through ...continue reading.

Apparently this is life

In looking at this site the other day, I noticed that the page about the dogs has yet to be updated. How do I write Scout out of the plot here? It’s one thing to add a paragraph about Tanner and how he is so wonderful except for the part where I can now touch concrete through over a dozen holes in the bedroom carpet. It’s an entirely different matter to turn everything about Scout into the past tense and then cap his bio off with “…and now he’s dead.” I like to say it that way for the shock value; not for you, but for me. Something about putting it so bluntly makes it feel like bludgeoning myself over the head with a watermelon in a pillowcase. In the days right after he died, I’d say it over and over in different ways like some weird chant. “He’s dead. HE’s ...continue reading.

New Kid on the Block

We got another dog. I couldn't decide whether to say "I" or "we" there because while he is definitely our dog, the half-baked planning and dogged (zing!) obsessiveness around getting another Shiba Inu were all mine. Searching for another Shiba to adopt became my life's sole focus shortly after Scout died. Early on, people asked if we were going to get another one and I recoiled in horror at the very idea of trying to replace Scout. The body wasn't even cold yet! JESUS, PEOPLE. But then I found myself in the Pets section on Craigslist, looking for a dog to adopt. Also Petfinder, Adopt-a-Pet, Petango, various county/city animal shelters, SPCA sites, the Humane Society, and every Shiba Inu rescue group in America. It was psychotic; I'd search every site and then start all over again automatically because maybe the right dog had been listed since the last search...eleven minutes ago. ...continue reading.

Fail to Win

I raced Philly. We packed Kobe into the car to join us for the trip, I showed up and only cried three times, and then I raced. It was somewhat surreal; my first World Cup and I couldn't even engage enough to feel anxious. At one point during the race, Lauren Hall made a comment about how I wasn't smiling and so I replied, "my dog died," and started to cry. She then pointed out the moto with the camera that was filming us. Good times. Before the race started, I noticed my teammate had "FAIL" written on her bars. That seemed like an interesting tactic and for a moment I thought about writing "YOU SUCK" on mine in solidarity, but instead asked for an explanation. "It's a reminder," she answered. "Fail to win. It reminds me to go out and give everything I've got to win." I mulled that over ...continue reading.

Racing at Half Mast

Tomorrow is the first World Cup of my cycling career, the Philadelphia International Cycling Classic. While I've done this race every year since 2011, this is the longest, hardest version yet and also the first time I'll be doing it as a World Cup. You can learn more about the significance of the World Cup series here. I have been eager and anxious all season to step up to competing at the highest level of the sport with the best women in the world. But to be honest, I am struggling to give a shit. I miss my dog. Racing my bike seems frivolous and empty at the moment, as does just about everything else. Work? Ugh. Training? Ugh. It feels like a chore to even care about things like getting the mail or shaving my legs. I just want to sit on the floor with Kobe and wait for time to pass. The ...continue reading.