On Handling Bad Times Like A Pro Or Something

Posted on by Lindsay
Things have been unraveling since I slammed into the ground during the first North Star Grand Prix crit on June 15. When the crash happened and I was cleared by the hospital and the stage was neutralized, I went back into the race the following day like nothing had gone wrong. I did that stage and all the others after it, limping along stubbornly and pushing my body so hard. There was no logic in what I was doing but I couldn't stop and wouldn't let anybody around me say otherwise. That mindset is my greatest gift and curse as an athlete - I never stop. But I should have. Then, or in the days after, but I didn't. I tried to race and then started another cross-country drive out west. I called that drive my "time off" but who the hell is ridiculous enough to think driving 5-6 hours a ...continue reading.

In which I uprooted my life and moved into my car

Posted on by Lindsay
I'm sitting in a stranger's living room now, doing my laundry in his washer with my feet up on his ottoman. I've never met the guy before but I'm going to sleep in his bed tonight and go through his cabinets to find a pot to boil water in the morning. After breakfast, I'm going to pack up my things, get in my car, and relocate for the weekend to another city I've never visited. This is basically my every day. Tonight it's Cory's house, last night it was Chelsie's, for a week before that it was Ayman's, before that it was Angie, and Alice, and Gretchen and so on. The year started with me living in a studio in Tucson that I was subletting from a guy I never met named.....David? Michael? Can't recall. But for three months, I used his dishes and sheets and towels, lounged on his ...continue reading.

In like a lion, out like a lamb

Posted on by Lindsay
The final stage of the North Star Grand Prix - the Stillwater Criterium with its famous 18% grade up Chilkoot Hill - wrapped up just a few hours ago, although my day ended even a little before that. After a rocky start to the stage, I did what I could to help the team and was then pulled unceremoniously by the officials. It didn't really matter; we'd accomplished what we set out to do in keeping Sophie Mackay in the Sprinter's Jersey. But it's still never easy to accept personal defeat. I had high hopes going into this race last Wednesday. My form has been good, it was my final event before a much needed mid-season break, and I was ready to step up and earn some results. There was a frightening episode with my heart right before the time trial start, but I raced anyway and was thrilled to earn a ...continue reading.

Joe Martin < Me

Posted on by Lindsay
Today is the first stage of the Joe Martin Stage Race, a 4.84 kilometer uphill time trial. Then we have two road races and a crit over the following three days. Stage racing is great! Supermint is great! Bikes are great! Last time I was at this race in 2014, I had a massive meltdown. Things were bad that year. For reasons I'm still trying to understand, I fell apart completely and lost half a season to panic attacks, performance anxiety, and endless crying spells. It took months to climb out of the dark hole and stop hating racing and myself, and sometimes I still worry that shadow is going to come back. Joe Martin was one of the worst periods in that time. Things were going to pieces before I even made it to Fayetteville and on the night before the first stage, I took the team van, drove to a local bar, ...continue reading.

The Magic of Mint

Posted on by Lindsay
When Jono and I brought Andrey on to be the HB Supermint creative director, we had a vision in mind: somebody with a unique eye for brilliant photos who was able to tell a compelling story about a new team of professional cyclists coming together to take on a race season. There would be elation! Heartbreak! Suspense! An underdog tale, a phoenix rising from the ashes to conquer the elite racing circuit! Then as with all things in life, reality intervened. Andrey has done a wonderful job of making us look fantastic, despite repeated efforts on my part to thwart him. Exhibits A and B: But the storytelling part has taken a backseat to keeping up with the rapid pace of the season. We went from camp to racing Tucson, Chico, San Dimas, Redlands. Days of racing with associated roster announcements, stage reports, photos, sponsor announcements - all normal parts of ...continue reading.

And We Were All Happy Campers

Posted on by Lindsay
When I think of childbirth, I imagine it's a massive undertaking of pain and exhaustion, followed by the moment when you first look at the baby and feel a massive rush of joy and love. And probably some panic as well because WHAT HAVE I DONE, I OWN A HUMAN. This was also how I felt at the Hagens Berman | Supermint Pro Cycling Team camp this past week. After so much preparation and planning all fall and winter, we gathered the riders and staff at a house in Southern California to officially kick off our season. Seeing the whole team roll out together in matching kits on matching equipment followed by a matching car made me nearly fall off my bike with happiness and pride. We did this. Jono and I made this from scratch. Then I realized I'd forgotten to put the bananas and bars in the team car and now that ...continue reading.