Everything you (n)ever wanted to know about pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum life for athletes

Posted on by Lindsay
I’m 13 months postpartum after giving birth to a healthy baby girl in February 2018. It’s been a long ride from the time I found out I was pregnant, in June 2017, until now, when my kid can pick up and chew Cheerios on her own and my body vaguely resembles what it was before the whole process began (while clothed, at least). This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, mostly from a mental perspective. I went from being a professional athlete in full control of my body to being entirely taken over by another human. Then I got to start raising that human in the outside world while reshaping my body back to what it was before. Or trying to, at least. Truthfully, there is no coming back unchanged from pregnancy. Along the way, I ended up racing a mostly full season, which was a gift. At the ...continue reading.

Any occasion is an excuse for cake

Posted on by Lindsay
Dear Caroline, Happy 6 months! This is not a real birthday, but we are celebrating anyway. I went to the store yesterday and bought you a flower, a new toy, some baby food, and a bunch of outfits, and your father regarded me warily, worried that he was watching the beginning of a lifetime of spoiling you. It’s not; I’m expecting you to get a job next month and start paying your own way, or at least wiping your own butt. But six months is a big deal. We made it this far. We’re half a year into your life and we’ve both survived, you and me. When you were born, you seemed impossibly small and fragile. Everything was a suffocation hazard and I couldn’t stop checking to make sure you were still breathing. SIDS loomed as a mysterious terror lurking at every turn, and I fretted constantly about accidentally ...continue reading.

Hey kids, drugs are good

Posted on by Lindsay
Ten weeks postpartum. The baby is a smiley, happy child (except when she is tired or hungry, and then holy hell), we sleep for periods long enough to justify actually turning off the lights and climbing into bed, and I’m racing this weekend. Where does the time go?? That is a rhetorical question: while I can’t believe it’s already been 10 weeks, I also recall every moment since her birth acutely. The immediate trainwreck aftermath of the c-section, the first week of her life when she was so easy and we kept remarking on how lucky we were to have a calm baby, the next six weeks when we wanted to go back and slap those foolish idiots except our hands were too full of screaming baby. It’s been a journey, a constant struggle, a success story these past 10 weeks. Having a newborn is hard and life-changing (duh) but ...continue reading.

That one time when you were born

Posted on by Lindsay
It’s been just over two weeks since you showed up and I’m not sure if that’s an eternity or an instant. In a way it feels like there was never a world without you, while on the other hand, sometimes you’ll let out a squawk from your lounge pillow and I’m like HOLY SHIT THERE IS A BABY HERE. Your birth day changed my life. (It was probably pretty monumental for you too.) Since you were breech, there was no choice but to have a c-section. My original goal was to have a natural birth, not because I enjoy hemp and growing out my leg hair and suffering unnecessarily, but because it seemed the fastest way to return to “normal” after birth. Women talked about walking around an hour after their drug-free vaginal birth, so of course I wanted that too so I could waddle over to the trainer as ...continue reading.

Turns out there is more silver lining than cloud

Posted on by Lindsay
For my birthday last October, my dear friend Ivy gave me a necklace: It was more than just a piece of jewelry; it was a reminder and a life philosophy. Get shit done. Keep going. Don't let anything stop you. There was a moment last November when I almost forgot that. Everything felt broken and insurmountable. I sat alone in my apartment in Seattle and wept at the mess I'd made of my life. In that instant, I couldn't figure out how to begin untangling the wreckage of an entirely derailed life plan. But then I got up off the couch and did. One step at a time, one day at a time, with the help of my tirelessly loving family and friends. I got shit done. Now it's time for the next step. I just left home to go on the road for the season. I often write something here ...continue reading.

On exiting 2016 like a bat out of hell

Posted on by Lindsay
What a year! I will forever look back on 2016 as the year that overflowed with joyful moments like slamming into the ground repeatedly, getting my heart pulverized, and finding out we'd elected Trump. What a time to be alive! And yet, in the wake of a year of sometimes crippling defeats, I have never felt more alive, excited, and ready to plunge ahead. So many things happened in the last 12 months. We launched Hagens Berman | Supermint and had an incredible season of highs and lows, victories and learning experiences, and a roller coaster of thrills that took the team all over North America and to Italy for the Giro Rosa. (Meanwhile, I went to Canada. So that's basically my 2016 life choices in a nutshell.) It still feels surreal, yet we're now well underway towards our second season. In my own cycling career, I raced hard, crashed harder, stubbornly kept ...continue reading.