This light at the end of the tunnel may or may not be an oncoming train

Posted on by lindsay
I'm afraid of roaches. Terrified, actually. Occasionally I see tiny ones in my condo and that, more than the shoddy construction work or my criminally-active neighbors, is what I dislike most about my home. My nightmares feature roaches at least every other week. I'm afraid of gaining weight. When I eat a cupcake, I hate myself for it and vow to work out extra hard the next day as penance. I do, but then I also eat another cupcake, and that is why I am great at training. I'm afraid of small spaces. The idea of being buried alive is crippling. When I went to get my MRI yesterday, the technician asked if I was claustrophobic. The answer is yes, but I was too high, cranky, and impatient to get it done, so I lied. When she slid me all the way into the narrow tube, I panicked silently under ...continue reading.

Ten thoughts on life in the hospital:

Posted on by lindsay
1. Still high. At one point in the middle of the night, I thought the miniature Christmas tree my mom brought was rustling aggressively towards me. Turns out it was the sound of my IV drip, but I'm still keeping a close eye on that sneaky shrub. 2. The one thing I did not do in the middle of the night was sleep. I blogged, listened to a soundtrack of rain, listened to droopy music on Pandora, ate a Clif bar, counted the minutes until I could order breakfast and carefully typed a list of all the food I wanted, grimaced and winced every third minute, requested more Dilaudid, and got up to pee once. Sleep, however, was apparently not on the agenda, despite all of the painkillers and the extra dose of sedative. 3. Rufus Wainwright just dramatically and operatically sang: "Your nose was always too big for your ...continue reading.

Will Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

Posted on by lindsay
I am in the hospital. When they pumped in more Dilaudid a few minutes ago, I instantly rocketed back into the upper stratosphere I often visit while dallying with narcotics. My first thought (after GAAAHHHH MY FACE IS MELTING) was that I should ride the Highmobile to Sleepytown, but when closing my eyes resulted in some wicked swoopy feelings and opening them made me think my bed was a jack o' lantern leering in the darkness, I decided it would be a better plan to take to the Internet. So, hi! Also, SO HIGH. Winter training has been going very well. I'm feeling strong on the bike, visiting the gym religiously, eating well, stretching, and doing everything I can to baby my problematic back. Other than some occasional pain, nothing has seemed out of the ordinary or particularly concerning. I wrapped up a rest week on Sunday and started the ...continue reading.

Dude! Something other than cycling!

Posted on by lindsay
While this blog might lead you to believe otherwise, once in a while I stop riding a bicycle. Some long overdue updates: The Dogs. To make a long story short, Scout got cancer, Scout got cured of cancer but brought home fleas, the fleas made me lose my mind for a little while, I got the furniture cleaned and banished the pets to the floor, and felt guilty for kicking Scout out of his armchair so I bought him a fancy bed. Then Kobe refused to get out of the bed, so I got another one and now both dogs have taken up permanent residence in the beds. As in, I have to physically peel Kobe out of the bed to get him to go outside. The good news is that Scout made it through the first November in three years without developing any serious health problems, which would be ...continue reading.

“if you lift 100 kilos today, you lift 100 kilos tomorrow…”

Posted on by lindsay
December is just beginning and winter training is well underway. I ride six days a week (one recovery ride, two days of intervals, two days of unstructured rides, and one big ride), lift weights three days a week, and do core work three days a week. I also work full time, try to sleep for eight or more hours a night, eat something like eight meals a day, and occasionally remember to call my parents and email my best friend. Thus, things like blog updates and keeping current on episodes of Gossip Girl fall by the wayside. The latter is a tragedy. If you catch me in a bad moment, I will complain about this schedule and bitch about how I'm constantly tired, always getting ready for another workout, and so sick of taking showers twice a day. Hell, I'm a whiner in the best of moments, so I will ...continue reading.

Big sigh of relief

Posted on by lindsay
You may have noticed that this site was offline for the past few days. I noticed. At first, I figured the problem would sort itself out. Then I started getting a bit concerned that maybe there was something wrong and that the content had been lost. When troubleshooting didn't quickly resolve the issue, I became really worried. Nearly seven years of my life are documented here, in posts that range from mundane to funny to heartbreaking. While it might seem like a fluff blog, to me it represents a snapshot of a dozen different phases of my life. Remember Aisha, that terrible monster dog I love and miss dearly? Or the pet mice? Or what my life was like before I started cycling, when I spent my nights out partying with my parents' friends? Remember graduating from college and starting law school and my first job in proposals? Remember when ...continue reading.