Things my dog thought would be helpful this week

1. It is cold outside, so I took off half my fur and spread it around the floor so we can all be warm.

2. You might not know that the Comcast technician is here since he just knocked on the door, so I will howl and growl.

3. Did you know that he is still here? I know. I will bark incessantly to make sure you know, too.

4. I have been barking and howling for twenty minutes and you do not seem to notice, so I will poop on the rug because then you will notice that the Comcast technician is still here and I have feelings about this.

5. I’ve seen you regularly inspecting the hole I’ve picked in the carpet, so I have made it bigger just for you.

6. You have brought out the vacuum and this is a bad thing, so I will whine and bark to make sure you know this is bad.

7. The vacuum is a menace and I am concerned, so I will bite the vacuum repeatedly.

8. Oops, you did not move your ankle out of the way in time.

8. I am now tangled in the cord. SEE? I told you the vacuum was a menace.


2 thoughts on “Things my dog thought would be helpful this week

  1. … you do not UNDERSTAND, Lindsey. Both the vacuum cleaner and the cable guy are Eeeee-vil. Perhaps only higher species know this ….


    p.s. for the record, my human loves me … but not enough to buy a go Pro and learn to video me. Maybe he does not deserve my fur to keep warm.

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