My boss invited Bobby and me to a Jewish Sukkot dinner at her house tonight. Apparently she invites all of the employees to this celebration every year, as it is only loosely religious and supposedly a lot of fun. From the basic research I have done on this holiday, I have learned that Sukkot is a Biblical pilgrimage festival and that the dinner tonight will be held in a booth constructed of canvas, metal, and bamboo in my boss’ backyard.
My concern, however, is that my boss is Orthodox Jewish and lives under a very strict code of laws that govern her everyday life. These laws include prohibitions against showing her hair to anyone but her husband, doing anything on the Sabbath that could be considered creating something (including turning on lights or writing anything), and eating anything that is not strictly kosher, among many other rules.
From the many questions I have asked about her religion, I have learned that certain things are extremely taboo. For example, if I were to turn on her stove, she would have to throw it away and buy a new one because I am not Orthodox Jewish. If I accidentally touched a dairy product to her non-dairy set of pots and pans, she would have to throw that dish away. If her wig slipped off and exposed her hair for a split second in public, she would be mortally humiliated. If her fire alarm malfunctioned and went off during the Sabbath, she would have to listen to the endless REET! REET! REET! until the sun set again and she was allowed to shut it off. To make matters worse, her husband is a rabbi and she is very devout, so bending the rules is not an option.
Needless to say, I am a little worried about tonight. What if Bobby touches a special dish and it has to be destroyed? What if I say a taboo word during the special dinner that offends the celebrants? What if Bobby accidentally blows out a ceremonial candle that can never be lit again? What if I contaminate a room and force her whole family to move out of their house? WHAT IF I TRIP AND KNOCK OVER A WALL OF THE SACRED BOOTH?
That is hilarious.
i found your blog through the Facebook law group… you’re a brilliant writer and I’ve been laughing aloud as I’ve been reading through a few random backentries. Coiincidentally I came across this one- – funniest of all! We Orthodox Jews are usually more concerned that our guests feel comfortable, not that they’re driven insane with worry 🙂 We know that when things happen, they’re usually by accident. I’m curious as to how the whole thing went! keep writing… ~Sarabeth