I agreed to take a temporary position at Caitlin’s company today. This opportunity was first mentioned last Friday, when Caitlin told me to expect a call from her company regarding the position. Said call did not come until this morning, when I received a voicemail asking me if it would be at all possible to come in and start training today. The woman who called did not once question my credentials, ask to meet with me, mention salary, or discuss responsibilities or hours. Either Caitlin had already credibly informed her of my splendor, or the job is so appallingly trivial that the woman just didn’t care. When I returned her call, I was informed that the job would be dull (I think the words she used were “basic data-entry”) and the hourly rate was embarrassingly and non-negotiably small. Naturally, smelling money in the air and an opportunity to further delay actual job-searching, I agreed to take it. I start on Wednesday, and will work three days a week for the next three weeks, at which point I will retire for another relaxing month.
Although the salary is beyond pathetic considering that I can walk upright, do not carry any communicable diseases, and have at least a third grade education, I am mildly enthusiastic about the idea of having some temporary work. That, plus the thrill of working with my best friend of nine years (who promised to buy me lunch everyday and BY GOD, elephants never forget) makes Wednesday seem moderately appealing. If nothing else, the next three weeks will deepen my appreciation for unemployment, and allow me to truly savor unadulterated stretches of bathrobe time.