As I was washing my hands in the ladies’ room a moment ago, a large woman in brightly-colored cotton pants strolled in. She noticed me standing there, cheerfully chirped hello, and turned into the first stall. Before she’d even begun closing the door, she casually yanked her pants down and turned around to sit. Only after getting settled did she reach over and latch the door (after which she began loudly blowing her nose which, while startling and fairly appalling, was only the icing on the cake).
So that settles it. The next time I have to use the bathroom in a hurry, I’m not going to waste any time. I’ll pull my pants down before even leaving my office.