Crazy Donald

Posted on by lindsay
There is a guy who works at my hotel named Donald, and he is crazy. Literally certifiably psychotic. At first my companions and I thought he was drunk, based on his demeanor, his speech, and his red face and bloodshot eyes. But then we realized that he is either taking straight moonshine through an IV, or he just nuts.Having Donald around is like finding a schizophrenic homeless man in New York City and inviting him to follow you around like a stray dog would follow a woman in a dress made of beef. He doesn´t really follow conversations except the trains of thought in his own mind, and he rides those trains all the time, meaning that regardless of what we are discussing, he is still talking about his own subjects. These subjects consist of three things: describing people around him as members of his family (I was his sister), ...continue reading.

Friends Forever

Posted on by lindsay
There are certain lunches where Caitlin and I both choose to read while eating; we speak periodically, sharing excerpts from our books, but generally just read until one of us notices that over an hour has elapsed. Today was one of those days. However, after being seated and reading for about twenty minutes, a woman approached us."Sorry to interrupt," she began enthusiastically. "I just wanted to tell you girls that I think it is so neat that you are comfortable enough to just sit together and read without talking!" Caitlin and I both smiled sweetly."We've known each other since seventh grade," I explained. The woman smiled, nodded, and returned to her table."AND," I continued, "I've completely lost interest in anything she has to say."

Perfect With A Little Lime and Salt

Posted on by lindsay
On the way back from lunch/a shopping trip at the ABC store, Drew began digging through my bag of purchases."They make a tequila called Montezuma," he marveled, looking at the large bottle. "I can't imagine what that would be like.""I've had it before!" I exclaimed. "It's not bad at all.""Have you heard of Montezuma's other thing?" he asked."Yes, of course. I've had that too."

Another Display Of Brilliance

Posted on by lindsay
Caitlin walked to my desk a moment ago and asked if I'd heard the news that a tree had fallen on her boss' car. I hadn't."Like, a bad tree?" I asked."Yes," Caitlin replied slowly. "A very bad, disobedient tree."

Humiliation Knows No Limits

Posted on by lindsay
It is absolutely freezing in the building at work today, and a few minutes ago I dragged Caitlin to the company kitchen to watch me make tea in an attempt to ward off hypothermia. A few coworkers were in the kitchen as well, including one young male intern who was microwaving his lunch a few feet from where I was preparing my tea.Lindsay: "I'm FREEZING."Caitlin: "I could microwave you. That might warm you up."Lindsay: "Ohh...the microwave sounds so toasty."[At this point, the intern opened the microwave, extracted a covered plate of food, and removed the lid. I noticed that the lid looked warm and steamy. For some reason, I also could not recall the word "lid".]Lindsay: "Oh! Can I touch your thing?"Silence, followed by explosive laughter from all around. Fatal embarrassment on my part.