So this is unemployment. Tell me again, why is this bad?

I know that being unemployed is frowned upon, and that most people equate joblessness with shiftless loserdom, but right now, I’m not seeing the downside. My entire morning has consisted of eating candy in bed and messing around on my laptop. In my former life, I would have been sitting at my desk at the court trying to hang myself with cheap, state-issued rubber bands while old hags recorded my every move in hopes of getting me fired. It would seem to most that the old bitches were indeed victorious – after all, I did resign after being kindly given no other option – but as I lay in bed and eat chocolate while they slave away at work for a paltry paycheck, I think I got the better deal.

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Jesus Christ.

I can’t believe I have a blog. I’ll blame it on my recent wealth of free time, what with the freedom I was kindly granted by my employer. The name must be accredited to a wise former coworker, who once told me, “The grass is always greener on the other side, but sometimes you get there, and it’s just a dirt field.” I think this is the dirt field.

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