Uncharted Terrority

Posted on by lindsay
Dog #2 has cancer. The poor guy cannot catch a break. First, he went blind in one eye in November 2009. Then, at the end of last year, he started to go blind in the other eye and had a few months of regular vet visits and dozens of daily eyedrops and pills, followed by a surgery that ended the ordeal but left him totally blind. He has adjusted well to this, other than the part where he gently ricochets off everything as he navigates the world, but now he's been dealt another kick in the pants. The problem seemed minor at first. I took him on a walk to 7-Eleven on Monday and, as I was crossing the street in bright daylight, I noticed the skin under the fur on his tail looked irritated. I bent down for a closer look and was appalled to see the skin was red, mottled with spots, and oozing ...continue reading.

Epilogue

Posted on by lindsay
I used to read Dooce regularly, but in the last few years, that dwindled to only an occasional visit. On that visit the other night, I learned that Dooce and her husband recently separated. This was shocking; from what I remembered of her life, she was married to her best friend, her soul mate, her rock. And that may all still be true, but to the two people living that life, it wasn't enough to make sharing each day better than living them apart. Seven months ago, some things in my life changed significantly. They had already been shifting and breaking for months, maybe even a year or two prior, but that marked a turning point. I thought the change would be for the better, that everything would work out, that time and space would heal old wounds and lead to a joyous renewal of the good feelings of the past. That ...continue reading.

The Beginning of The End

Posted on by lindsay
It is 11:06am and in one hour, I will leave my hotel in Boston to ride my bike downtown for my final race of the season. My hands are shaking as I write this, partially from pre-race nerves and partially because I cannot believe I am here, at the end of this incredible season. When I began racing back in March, I was riding my Seven cross bike with slick tires and planning to do a few road races as training for my first season as a pro cross country mountain bike racer. Now I am a road racer. I have the bike, the team, the clothes, the scars, and most of all, the heart of a road racer. A more thorough recap of this year will have to wait until after this race, since I'm in no state of mind to remember details clearly. Right now, it's all a ...continue reading.

A Yellow Ray of Sunshine (Albeit a Sleeveless One)

Posted on by lindsay
The Race: Reston Grand Prix The Course: 60 minutes The Field: 1/2 women The Finish: 1st Things in my life are kind of a mess right now. Then there was this race: the weather was good, I liked the course, the location was right in my home area, and there were a few dozen wonderful people out there cheering and supporting before, during, and after my race. The race itself was great. I felt strong from the start and stayed second or third wheel almost the entire time. Monika launched a number of solid attacks (no, really, that was her, despite Joe's insistence that it was me up the road) and won two primes. I waited until there were only about five laps to go to try a counterattack that I was hoping would stick until the end, but while I eventually decided to sit up because the field was ...continue reading.

Please.

Posted on by lindsay
I don't pray. It seems pointless to send a request to a higher power and then sit back and hope it comes through. It either will or it won't, but not because a mythical power listened to my plaintive voice amongst billions and decided it was my lucky day. But I'm going to make an exception here. I need to pray for some answer, any answer at all that I can actually believe, for what to do about my back. It hurts. It isn't getting better. I'm not riding. All of the hard work I've put in is slipping away. The physical therapy seems to be increasing the pain. The answers I get are all vague and suggest interminable waiting. I can't wait any longer. I'm losing my mind and the pain just continues to gnaw at me. It ebbs and flows, changes places and depth, sometimes bites or grabs ...continue reading.

The Name ‘Deadlift’ May Have Been A Hint

Posted on by lindsay
Bobby rented the movie “Eat Pray Love” for me the other day, and when I saw it on the kitchen counter, I cringed. When the movie was released, I vowed never to see it. The book was excellent (except for the parts about god); not only were Elizabeth Gilbert’s travels fascinating, but I liked her writing style and her internal struggles and unsettled nature were highly relatable. Translating the book into a movie, however, resulted in a nauseating tale of an upper class white American woman escaping from her tortured existence by traveling for a year and cherrypicking other cultures while living off a magical pot of cash. I put on the movie out of obligation, fell asleep before Julia Roberts even made it to Italy, and woke up so annoyed that I froze my laptop in my haste to eject the disc. The point is that I can recognize ...continue reading.